29.4.12

#379 - ALMOST HAPPENED...





ALMOST HAPPENED...

1) Miss... I'm... afraid of birds!
2) What do you mean? How is it possible to be afraid of birds?
3) ...
4) OK...OK... We'll walk together

just look at them carefully...

#378 - ALOE

ALOE

1) Like a woman, as much space you give her, Aloe occupies.

2) I placed her in a small flower pot at first, but soon she had to be replanted.

3) I constantly bought bigger pots for her, but she couldn't fit anywhere anymore.

4) I 'd better find a woman, I think...

28.4.12

#377 - ELEVATOR MUSIC



ELEVATOR MUSIC

#376 - FIVE CUPS OF COFFEE

5 CUPS OF COFFEE

1) Sir Isaak Arnold Mathiew Strange had just reach Santiliana del Maar for the first time...
    - Sir...

2) His denotation on the border's outpost, that he's visiting the country as a tourist, didn't talk 
    into E.R.T.'s men, that already were following him.

3) The same night, his "unexpected" meeting with Dr Elle Hunton, at hotel's Puesta Del Sol foyer, 
    was going according to the plan...
   - Τhis is the recipe of the skin reconstruction cream and the gel against cellulite...
   - Great. Money are at the preplanned place.

4) When, twenty minutes later, Mrs Hunton and E.R.T., discovered Mr Strange's fraud, was so late.
    - Τhe suitcase with the money, must already be into Chech mafia's hands.

...so the sight of orange skin, was about to trouble women, for twenty more years.
         

#375 - FICTITIOUS FOOTBALL WITH IMAGINARY FRIENDS


FICTITIOUS FOOTBALL WITH IMAGINARY FRIENDS

1) When I was in high school, two kids used to play imaginary football in the school yard.
- Play ball!
- Here!

2) It is true that they played with such passion, that if the ball actually existed, the game would be quite impressive!
Boy! The corners, the penalties, the...
- GOAL!
...headers!

3) The day before yesterday (i.e. after almost 12 years) I saw one of them by chance. He was walking in the street, quietly talking to himself.
- .... mumble...mumble....

4) I wondered whether fictitous football preceded the fictitous friend which I (of course) assumed he had.
      

27.4.12

#374 - AT ST THOMAS THE AQUINAS'S



AT ST THOMAS THE AQUINAS'S

(almost untraslatable because of puns etc., but here goes...)

1) - Hey, babe, I booked a nice table at St Thomas the Aquinas's!

2) (song) ...and with Roviolis's violin...
- Hey, Roviolis! Nice violin!

3) ...even the devils will dance!!!

4) - Opa!
    - May our enemies kick the bucket!
    - Opa!

Boy, they knew how to party in the Middle Ages!
       

26.4.12

#373 - KOULA!


KOULA!

1) - Koula, come back!
2) - I promise you, I won't take a piss in the sink again
3) - Koula, I'm talking to you!

Godammit!

25.4.12

#372 - THE RAVEN

THE RAVEN

1) It is humongous...

2) And eats mostly diamonds and gold...

3) But it collects more than it needs...

4) That's why it throws them in the puddle, so anyone won't find them... What kind of silliness is this?
       

#371 - THIS FONT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR COMICS



THIS FONT* IS NOT SUITABLE FOR COMICS
(* COMIC SANS)

1) - Hello Donald!
    - Stop it!

2) - What's wrong?
    - I said stop it!

3)  - I don't understand!
    - You know very well what I mean!

4) - What have I done to you?
    - I will smash his head!
        

24.4.12

#370 - HIGH QUALITY COFFEE


HIGH QUALITY COFFEE

1) - I watched Shame by the way, and it was very good! But it was porn, but, like, porn with a 
    meaning!
   - I don't understand why you have to point out it has a meaning, I thought ALL porn has meaning.

2) - Are you serious? I totally disagree!

3) - I think porn is not supposed to have meaning at all!

4) - OMG, what a load of bullshit...
    - What?
    - What?
    - What?
   

23.4.12

#369 - OU.LI.PO.


OU.LI.PO.

2) - Building a prison from which I plan to run away.

-e

#368 - PHEW!

PHEW!

1) Lately

2) my program

3) is formed by everybody

4) except me.

Counterattack
     

19.4.12

#366 - SPRINGTIME CLEANING

SPRINGTIME CLEANING

1) -Doesn't anyone ever clean in here?

#365 - HUNTED BY THE PANTHER

FROM THE ADVENTURES OF THE FAMOUS HUNTER, MIKE HIDGE

1) ALASKA: A haven for hunter and fisherman alike -
Indians, Esquimaux, wild beasts and picturesque villages with few residents, these are the main characteristics of this vast land.
- Going hunting, Count?
- No

2) A FEW MOMENTS LATER THE HEADMISTRESS WRITES A LETTER TO LAURA'S FATHER.

3) THE LETTER FINDS Mr. GERMAINE AT HIS HOME.
-HE RESEMBLES THE UNFORGETABLE JAMES DEAN LIKE A BROTHER, BUT LEADS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT LIFE

4) Out, you impudent man, who tried to fool us!

11.4.12

#362 - UNREMARKABLE, BUT FAIR, COMIC STRIP MODULAR STORY, CONSISTING BY A CONVENTIONAL FIRST PART THAT ATTENDS THE RULES OF NARRATION, A SECOND SURREALISTIC ONE AND A PARADOX THIRD, ENDING WITH A TOUCH OF A NEOREALISTIC OUTPUT.

1) - That morning, Mr Khan, woke up in very bad mood.

"I don't wanna drink coffee "

2) - He didn't wanna drink coffee and not even seemed to care for his wife's love callings...

"... good morning hun!"

"fuck off "

3) - Known for his constipation, usually was snappish...
that day though, his sayings were really tricky...

"there's something sick in the kingdom of Denmark..."

4) - At the evening he was ill, lying on bed. The bloodthirsty marshal knows now that he's going to meet his creator.

" how did happened?"

9.4.12

#361 - TWEET TWEET

TWEET TWEET

1) - Good morning miss Lemon Tree! Looking good today!

2) - Tweet Tweet mister Sparrow! Tweet Tweet!

3) - Oh, mister Holpwiz, how can you always be in such a good mood?
    - There's only one secret to this Jimmy... All you need is a little bit of love!

4) - You mean I don't need drugs to be happy?
    - Don't be an idiot Jimmy! OF COURSE you need drugs!
        

7.4.12

#360 - META-ANALYSIS




META-ANALYSIS

1) - OOGA
    - OOGA BOOGA

2) - OOGA LOOG
    - OOGA
    - OOGA

3) - OOGA
    - MOOGA LOOGA

4) - OOGA MOOGA LOOGA


 - I don't know, but with acupuncture, well, I see a difference.
       

#359 -

3) - M?
      

4.4.12

#358 - LIKE A SHADOW

LIKE A SHADOW

1) The human soul needs a lot of courage.

2) To have a strong stomach in a rough world.

3) To love the moments, the big, the small...

4) And like a shadow to embrace the light.